THINGS I JUST PLAIN DON’T GET

Below is a list of things/stuff I truly don’t get. I’ll keep adding to the list.

1. Modern Art: - I really won’t pay for something that looks like its painted by a 5 year old high on sugar and drugs.

2. Stock Market: - All the mumbo-jumbo and rattling of numbers makes me go temporarily during the 2 minutes of the bulletin. They might as well tell about the mating habits of a white whale.

3. My neighbor: - We’ve been living here from the past 3 years and we have no clue who our neighbors are. Not one. Not a clue. They all act like they are undercover spy agents. My immediate neighbor can put the KGB to shame, with the secrecy. One day the dog is there the next day its gone. Gets calls at unholy hours in the night (what am I doing up so late? Please read the URL).Can‘t even make out who live in that house. My pet theory is the lady has two husbands in the same house and neither knows the other exists. That’s the most conclusive one. Go figure.

4. Doctor’s Handwriting: - Yeah I can see you nod. I think doctors the frustration of the long hours with their scrawling scribbles. I feel bad for the chemist who has to read it. These guys would’ve taken calligraphy classes before opening a medical store. Another pet theory, doctors can blow up their written prescriptions, hang it on a wall and call it ‘Modern Art’. No one gets it. Fits the bill.

5. Trivia: - It should be re-named ‘boring. Seemingly unnecessary details, often read by a mundane brain’. For example.
- If you shout for 8 years, 6 months, 2days you’d produce enough sound energy to heat a cup of coffee.
- Polar bears cover their nose with their paws as camouflage.
- A gold fish has a memory of 3 seconds.
Why? Why do I know this information? Am I going to shout for 8 years, 6 months, 2 days and am I at war with a Polar bear that I should be alert that some camouflaged bear would trick me. The gold fish. I’m almost happy it has a lousy memory. At least it does not store the crap that I have stored.